


The Price of Failure

by et_cetera55



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-12
Updated: 2009-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-01 01:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/350632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/et_cetera55/pseuds/et_cetera55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin’s magic is revealed but how will Arthur take it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price of Failure

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own any of these characters – the BBC and Shine are the lucky people who do.

**Title:** The Price of Failure  
 **Author:** et_cetera55  
 **Rating:** PG  
 **Pairing:** None  
 **Warnings:** Angst but otherwise none.  
 **Spoilers:** None  


He had failed. Arthur was lying on the forest floor, an arrow sticking out of his shoulder, blood pooling underneath him from the gash in his leg, and Merlin had failed. In his despair he let go of the hold he had on his magic and lashed out. With a blinding flash the bandits who had attacked them collapsed to the floor, all life blasted from them.

Ignoring the dull aching in his chest he knelt down beside Arthur, blinking away hot tears. Trying not to see the fear in his prince’s eyes he stripped off first his own jacket, then his tunic. He tore a strip off his tunic and bound it tightly around Arthur’s thigh. As he heard the prince’s hiss of pain he winced and bit his lower lip, but still pulled the dressing tighter – he had to halt the bleeding.

“Merlin!” The command was weak, strained, but still a command.

His eyes flickered up towards the prince’s, but they stopped short, unable to meet Arthur’s gaze, leaving him staring at his pale lips.

“Merlin…what was… that? What did… what did you do?”

Merlin pressed his eyes shut and wished this had never happened. Wished he hadn’t betrayed his prince.

Twice.

First: he had still not told Arthur of his magic, he had been too afraid to. Second: in the attack, he had tried to help Arthur without revealing his magic, thus allowing Arthur to be injured. He could have killed those in bandits in one breath – he did. But too late.

He tasted blood in his mouth and realised he had bitten down harder on his lip, breaking the skin. In a way he relished the pain of it, at least it distracted him from the pain in his heart. He was a coward and he was disgusted with himself.

“Magic…” he mumbled, eyes still shut.

“Merlin! Look at me!” Even despite his pain, despite the blood loss, Arthur could still sound every inch the King-in-waiting.

Merlin slowly opened his eyes and looked back at Arthur, taking a deep breath before looking into Arthur’s eyes for the first time.

“It was magic, Sire. I can do magic. I always have been able to. I’ve been hiding it from you…from everybody.” Merlin’s voice cracked and he couldn’t carry on. He wanted to look away but Arthur’s gaze held him, burned into him.

Seconds passed and the only movement was from the tears that fell silently from Merlin’s eyes onto the prince’s chest. Arthur was staring at him with an expression Merlin could not fully read: hurt, and anger…and something else.

Then it changed and an expression of stubborn determination came over the prince’s face,

“Help me up.”

Merlin was startled into action once more. He checked the leg bandage was holding and moved his attention to the arrow.

“Merlin! I said help me up!”

“Sire, I need to… let me just cut the shaft of this arrow. It will do less damage that way.” He fished a knife out of his pocket and sawed at the wood until he could snap the arrow off just above the flesh. He dropped the shaft and then slowly, hesitantly, grasped Arthur’s good arm and started to pull him to his feet. Arthur groaned, obviously in pain, but still managed to drag himself upright. He managed to take two steps before stumbling but Merlin was there to catch him.

“Sire, lean on me.”

Arthur’s eyes flickered to Merlin’s, before quickly looking away. Merlin bit his lip again, sure the prince would refuse and would try to make it back to Camelot by himself. He was surprised when he felt Arthur’s hand on his shoulder followed almost immediately by the prince’s weight against his body.

“Let’s get going Merlin.”

“Sire.”

Together they started off for Camelot: walking a few paces before Arthur’s leg would give way underneath him and Merlin would have to catch him. This pattern repeated over and over until Merlin could take it no longer.

“Sire, let me carry you.”

Arthur snorted,

“Merlin you can’t carry me! You can barely carry my armour!”

Merlin waited a beat and then said quietly,

“I can carry you with magic.”

The slight tinge of colour that was left in Arthur’s face drained away,

“Oh…” he said, just as quietly. “No.”

“Arthur, please!” Merlin begged, “You’ll never make it back to Camelot before dark like this.”

“No!” Arthur turned his face away from Merlin. He carried on in a quiet, strained tone, “I’ve accepted you’re not going to kill me – God knows you could have done that a thousand times over by now. I’m not ready to accept…to face anything else right now.”

Merlin nodded sadly, heart breaking with sorrow but head saying he deserved much worse.

They set off again.

* * *

The stars had come out when they finally reached the castle and Arthur was so weak he could barely stand. Gaius tended Arthur in the prince’s chamber whilst Merlin looked on in silence. When he had left, Merlin finished tidying the chamber. He wanted to say something. Wanted to apologise to Arthur, for everything. But he just couldn’t. Fear stopped his mouth and tore at his heart.

Arthur never said a word. Just watched him, his piercing blue eyes following every move Merlin made.

When all the jobs were done and he could find no more excuses to linger any longer Merlin dragged his feet to the door. He had turned the handle and opened the door towards him before the voice called out bleakly,

“See you in the morning, Merlin. Bright and early.”

Shutting the door behind him Merlin dared to hope that maybe all was not lost.

 

 

**Author’s note:** _All comments gratefully received. I had planned this as a one-shot but I’m starting to wonder if perhaps I should continue with it…any thoughts?_


End file.
